Let's Hear it for the Boy

DemonSpawn

Date:
27/06/2008

So every now and again, there comes along someone very special; special in the Avril Elizabeth Home sense of the word, that is. Someone who is one hundred and twenty percent completely, blatantly and willfully oblivious to any actual moral code or ethical standpoint. Someone who, like Adolph Hitler, Stalin, Moussolini, Hussein, Fidel Castro and Jerry Springer, has no sense of shame or skillfully ignores that their wrongdoing is cause for such.
There should be a Nobel Prize for this. I mean, the Swedish guy from whom the Nobel originated - Alfred Nobel - invented dynamite, which has successfully been used to destroy countless obstacles including buildings, bridges, people, mountains and forests. Not to mention those lazy bastards who used it for fishing...

So my point being that Nobel Prizes should be for extremely good stuff and for extremely bad stuff (dynamite), there's always some asshole who insists on taking charge of a place and fucking up the economy, foreign and domestic policies, trade relations, freedom, liberty... you see where I'm going with this? Ergo (that's therefore for all the cretins), that person should be awarded a Nobel Prize for Destruction - we could call it the Nobel Dynamite Prize for Devotion to Tyranny. That way, we could all recognise, in the same way that one would recognise a Peace Prize winner like Madiba, those fuckers who made it worse for everybody around them. That way, people also wouldn't get confused and start renaming streets after them and stuff. 
I think this is a good idea, and I have the perfect first candidate: Ex-Sir Robert Mugabe (and on that topic, what the hell was she thinking when the Queen knighted someone that close in resemblance to Hitler's long lost son from the baboon he secretly shagged?).

Bob, you have been a sterling example to our young generations around the world of who and what they should look for in a sadistic, paranoid, megalomaniac tyrant and for that, we salute you! *moon*
You have proven over the past ten years that no way in Hell should the local and indigenous residents of Rhodesia ever have been allowed to make their own decisions, since you managed with their help to stay in power for almost thirty years. You should have been given no more decision-making ability than that of deciding how long to leave the polish on the car for. And yet, and yet...
Well, you took it and ran with it, and now everyone is very sorry. BUT you have earned your place in History. You will never be forgotten! So...

...let's hear it for the boy!!!

*applause*


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Westminster council forbids 'smoking ban' art installation: The council has moved from voting booth corruption to a smoking booth ban

Jantar

Date:
20/08/2008

(Tracey Emin)

Now, me, I think that most of our modern artists produce the kind of crap that has made that fairytale about the Emperor and his new clothes such an enduringly relevant story.

From Tracey Emin's tent & unmade bed to Damien Hirst's grotesquely boring shark & bejeweled skull, we have seen most things too many times already, and almost all of it was junk. Mindless drivel dressed as revelation.

So, here's yet another story about one of these useless gits – a guy who calls himself Norma Jeane, because he was born on the day that Marilyn Monroe died. A small and rather tedious fact that should be telling enough to condemn him to obscurity but in the world of art, this tasteless and pointless kind of pun is regarded as rather clever. Some would even call it poignant, I'm sure – but then you need a lot of idiots to keep the art galleries running on empty fumes.

Anyway, thanks to Westminster council, this Norma Jeane may now become truly, Big Brotherly famous:

An artwork intended to be a commentary on the smoking ban may never see the light of day - because of the smoking ban. US artist Norma Jeane, whose previous works include a cheese made of breast milk and an invitation to 160 people to have sex on a Roman roof terrace, wanted to create three transparent booths, each just big enough for one person to stand in and smoke. Members of the public were to be invited to smoke inside the booths, which would stand within the Frieze tents. But Westminster council has rejected an application for the "smoking booth" art installation on the grounds that it has insufficient "artistic merit".

Again, I can only spare some weary contempt for people who want to present us with their home-made cheeses and cheap Roman orgies but I have to admit that what truly pisses me off about this story is the fact that Westminster council has decided that it is fit to sit in judgement on the artistic merits of this, that or the other.

Obviously, I'm not saying that Norma Jeane's latest bit of public posturing does have any artistic merit. I think the whole smoking booth idea is as pathetic and puerile as the name the originator has chosen for himself but I don't want any fucking council to discuss and rule on artistic matters or merit either.



(Dame Shirley Porter)

Especially not Westminster council.

After all, Westminster's only claim to fame is its 'Houses for votes' scandal in the nineties. At the time, the House of Lords ruled that the behaviour of the leader of the council, Dame Shirley Porter, had been "corrupt" and a "deliberate, blatant and dishonest misuse of public power".

While Dame Shirley fled the country, rather than pay her £37 million fine, her hapless heirs have gone from the manipulation of voting booths to that of smoking booths.

I suppose you could call that progress – in the same manner that you could describe what Norma Jeane does as art.



Glob-a-Log